Thursday, May 21, 2009

Mars and Venus Continuing On

Because Mars and Venus are are so different, as John Gray continues to instruct us, their communication styles also have marked differences. For instance: If a woman may complain about her life, immediately the man feels the need to offer her a solution. (As if she isn't able to figure it out on her own.) However, that is what men do is fix things. When she says,"I just don't have time or enough help to get things done at work." Once again, men will tell her to slow down, don't try to do so much and get some people to help.
To men, that makes sense-to women that is so far off base. Instead, say to her, "you are such a hard worker and always give your best. Can I give you a hug?" Now, you may tell her that she worries too much and works way too hard. "Let's just forget it and just go out". No-she will not and is unable to just forget it.
Right now, men just need to listen to all that is being said, give an offer to help or ask if there is anything you can do? A woman needs to be heard and once that is done and she has processed her feelings, she will feel much better. Just refrain from fixing any problem. Offering up some explanation for why things are will most likely be met with silence or resistance.
Just stay neutral, validate what and how it must be affecting her without doing any fixing. Ask if there is something you can do to help her. This is rather confusing, however with a little bit of work, we men can learn the rhythm of communicating on Venus.
Next time, John Gray will show us what men are thinking and saying. Until then.....................

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