Sunday, June 22, 2008

Relationships on Mars and Venus

For the next few blogs, let's take a close look at the way Mars and Venus view one another. In John Gray's book ,"Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus", he makes some very salient points about how supremely different men and women are and how their listening and thinking styles are so unique. Through his introspection of this topic, he provides a way of discussing the subject without "stepping on each other's toes" as he states this. Here is a sad truth. The more a man likes a woman, the more he will avoid getting involved because he might get hurt. With intimacy, the distinction is that a woman moves up and down while men move back and forth. Women's increased intimacy makes them feel more vulnerable and as a result, her feelings will tend to rise and fall like waves. Men are like rubber bands with intimacy. Their intimate involvement creates the need to pull away, knowing he can return even experiencing more and deeper love. Unfortunately his woman takes it personally, thinking this is about her. Not so! To give him his "space", understanding that absence makes the heart grow fonder is key to this process. It is difficult yet needed. Men will stretch out so far and then will come springing back. Ironically each time this happens he will love her more. Sound crazy? Welcome to the world of "testosterone". And us men say that understanding the language and actions of women is so difficult. Thankfully over time this will diminish, however it does and will remain to some degree. To help guard against this, men need to "get ready" to be intimate. The earlier the experience of intimacy the more extreme his pull back. Women believe more intimacy is better when this pull back happens and that can sabotage this connection for good if not careful. This situation would require a lot of balance and patience, as you navigate through this process. Strive to create the chemistry experience on four levels: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. This is demonstrating an expression of love in all four areas.
On the next continuing blog we will explore the distinction of what he/she says vs what he/she hears.
Note: If there is a subject you would wish to have information on, please email me as a comment about this blog and I will be happy to include it. Till next time.