When I think of all the special training, practical experiences, wisdom and umpty ump degrees we need to compete in the business world, I ask why isn't it the same for having children? So many times when talking to parents do I hear how much conflict the family is in and the turmoil they are having with their children. With us being the models for children to follow, there seems to be a disconnect about what and how the children are receiving our messages. In many ways we are seeing reflected back to us our spoken/unspoken words and attitudes. We, as adults, hold up a mirror for them to see their choices made and behaviors chosen. In every instance we need to take the opportunity to teach, not criticize. Many times it is like picking low hanging fruit in the moment. There are some strategies I believe which can begin to shift our thinking to a higher level of consciousness:
Never disapprove of who a child is, disapprove of what they do.
Seek first to understand so you can be clearly understood.
Never punish, that is counterproductive--use healthy discipline
which teaches new ways of thinking. REMEMBER: Positive
discipline looks for solutions, punishment looks for blame.
Always be looking for ways to give praise--children respond so well to it.
Instruct them as to "what" you want, not what you "don't" want.
Know how children develop.
Adults must maintain self control: The biggest reason for low self
esteem in children is lack of self control in adults.
Build healthy relationships with your children.
I know there are no absolutes for how to positively impact each child, however, the more we learn about proper child development the more fun we can have along the way. I hope these
strategies will be helpful and remember to give yourself an "adult time out" to get centered, as you are doing without a doubt one of the hardest, most difficult, thankless jobs out there.