Sunday, March 15, 2009

How Do I Become More Patient????

As I ask more and more people about self development issues, the three which seem to be of the most interest are: Tolerance--Acceptance--Patience. How can they acquire these qualities? Take the first letter of each word and you have--TAP! Tap-Tap-Tap. A rhythm to walk to daily if you will. Let's break each one down.
TOLERANCE: To be able to tolerate someone or something, in going by Mr. Webster's language he tells us to,"respect others beliefs, practices etc. and to just put up with things". SOOO much easier to say than do, I get it. Whether it be people or situations, so many of us will get into conflict with only ourselves in the room. It is like we go through "conflict zones" when the only person common to these is our self. To extend respect means we must have a high level of self respect. Therein lies a certain amount of awareness & work required to create that if missing. Where a number of people exhibit that conflict is in being "judgemental" of others, when indeed a part of their personality makeup is about judging in interacting with the outside world. One needs to learn how to use that quality positively-not negatively by putting people off.

AcceptanceThis area of self growth has three components: (1) Be accepting of yourself. (2) Accept things as they are. (3) Last and as important accept people as they are. Somehow in toddlerhood we learned that by resisting things/people repeatedly and long enough, eveything including everybody would change. Not the way life is to be lived, however there is so much resistance out there. By following the rule of three, as far as acceptance goes, you will experience continued growth of yourself and others. Then life changes. And---last but certainly not least:

PATIENCE: This becomes the end result of acquiring the first two qualities. Having patience, in this Coach's most humble opinion, is something we develop as we stroll through life as opposed to just showing up in the world having it. Again Mr. Webster's words of wisdom defines "Patience" as, calmly "tolerating" delay, confusion and having endurance. SO-how do we accomplish all of this. BOLO--a law enforcement term meaning,"Be On Look Out. Discover what trips your internal triggers, usually emotionally. Decide if this is about you or someone else.

When you reframe things and run it through this different filter before reacting, it will help you to think it through clearly. With everything that happens, people or situations, consider it all as an "IT". IT will never be about a "YOU". When you respond to an "it", it will require information about the subject and not run the other person into the ground. Once you can make that distinction it frees everyone up to be able to speak freely, removing people from the equation.

What are YOU going to do about how you accept, tolerate and bring patience to all matters? It is and can be difficult however learning more and more about "self" places everyone in a much better frame of mind to be in far more postive control of themselves. Keep growing and keep learning!!!!!!!

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