Friday, September 10, 2010

How to Avoid Relationship killers

Here are a number of areas in relationships which can totally run it into the ditch without any willingness to change. I believe these are self explanatory and can stand on their own with maybe a little discussion of a few of them. I hope this provides some insight and help into the lives of many.

How do we avoid potential relationship pitfalls and what are some of the ones which cause these? Here are a few from my relationship coaching folks have had as concerns. I believe if we can learn from others, our own experiences can create more serenity, peace and contentment in the life we live.
RIGHT FIGHTING: People who engage in these type of discussions will generally and more often make others "wrong" which means everyone loses. Is that how you want to define yourself? If so, how much fun are you to live with?
ACCUSATORY OVERTONES: Do you look for blame, wrong, missing or lacking as if there were a reward for doing so? Be careful when pointing a finger as you will always have 3 pointing back at you.
MANIPULATION/CONTROL: Know and understand that the only thing we control are our reactions and responses to what happens to us. Other than that people are going to shut down and shut off towards any type of control they are living with. May work in the short run however it is very unhealthy, abusive and disrespectful.
RELATIONSHIP RESPONSIBILITY: To know and fully understand each of us is charged with growing, learning and becoming the very best person we can be. We do not do this at the expense of someone else's life. We create the very best relationship with our self first before joining our life with someone else.
COMMUNICATION HABITS: How many people I hear from, who just wish they could be talked to nicer, more sincerely and more truthfully as to what lays deep inside. Learn more about what we call the "currency" of others so we can deliver. What do they need, want and expect from people when being verbally engaged.
RESPECTING NEEDS AND WANTS: Here are a couple of areas of personal importance which are as individual as our fingerprints. Know how to access them and deliver as needed. It can be a game changer to everyone's life.
WORK THINGS OUT AS OPPOSED TO ACTING THINGS OUT: This one is so important as it dovetails to the communication title above. Without a language of feelings to fully express what it is you expect, then what happens is we emotionally wear our feelings on our sleeves and act it out hoping the other person gets our message. Rise above this.
GIVE AWAY 100 TO GET 50: This is a Dr. Phil-ism: "When you have to give up 100% of who you are to become half of something else, isn't the price you are having to pay just way too high"? Think about what, who and how much you might have been expected to compromise to have a life of someone else's expectations. Readjust, refigure and re launch the life you were authentically designed to live.
I hope these have been a mind shift for you or someone you might know who can benefit from this information. Any further information you would like, I welcome you to take advantage of my free introductory call to see how coaching can work for you.

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