Saturday, September 11, 2010

Assertiveness or aggressiveness?

In following some published articles on health, stress and ways to manage these effectively, there has been a common theme to them which I have found quite interesting. There is evidence as to the very thoughts and feelings we carry around inside of us, "reacting" negatively to people, situations and just life's events taking place. Letting these build up inside of us, having revengeful, emotional attitudes we carry around 24/7, is likened to taking poison expecting others to die. We have the responsibility to "respond" more healthily, as we shoulder the burden on how to learn more about how to move past these events in terms of getting well.
In our rapidly changing world of our economy, businesses, families, relationships, fast paced technology advances and many other vital aspects of our lives, the need for understanding, insight, patience, awareness, diligence and stress reduction are of utmost concern.
Our families, jobs, relationships are all at risk due to the way we handle all of these encounters. There are three major significant areas of change which happen within us, they are our physiological, psychological and emotional balances. Our inner immune system takes a hit, our constructive methods of problem solving and coping are attacked while mood swings create anxiety, fears and depression.
I am not advocating a one size fits all solution, however if any of these three areas you have noticed are and have been impacted, then I strongly recommend you begin searching methods to reverse the trend. If we keep doing the same things with people or events, we will continue with the same results--no rocket science here. I can assure you that to healthily assert yourself, rather than be pushy, quarrelsome, attacking and fighting to be right, will be much healthier as you adopt these new ways for successfully thriving in today's world. This is all about how we handle change when we are confronted with it. Yes, change is and can be difficult sometimes, yet what turmoil you may feel in the inside will ensure a life of conflict on the outside. We must learn a much more healthy way of communicating effectively our wants, needs, fears, tolerations and expectations to others. The art of assertiveness gives you just that. You are respecting others rights of being while retaining your own.
The real difference between assertiveness and aggression is how the words we use, the behaviors we exhibit towards others, affect their well being and their rights. How do you want to be regarded? Are you a right fighter who argues to win? Do you look for more problems than solutions as if there is a reward for finding them? Are you in the mode of "victim" rather than the "victor" mode of consciousness? How do you see yourself and what do you need?
Working with a coach can elevate these areas of functioning, enabling you to think clearer, engage others more proactively while yielding more positive results overall in your life.
Just as a means of personal reflection and accountability, ask the people in your life who you know, like and trust, to give you feedback about your demeanor, ex: "Am I prone to act more aggressive or assertive"?
Take your own inventory so as to map out a plan for your success.
If you think of someone who might benefit some assertive skill building, please share my information with them as I would be honored to speak with them.
Thank you for your time.

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