Monday, December 29, 2008
Conflict--How We Start It and How We Can Stop It.
Do you sometimes think conflict is following you around just waiting to foul up your day? We seem to travel in and out of these "zones" coming to believe that we just move in and camp out there. So what is creating so much conflict in people's lives? Discontent, anger, jealousy, resentments, betrayal, disappointments etc. One could suggest that the turmoil people experience on the inside, no matter what the reason, causes conflict on the outside. When this happens, we do not need another person to help take our day off track as we have already done that ourself. Some people feel threatened in different ways causing fear and pent up rage which needs to be vented in a healthy fashion. You can take most all of these reasons for creating inner turmoil and title them all with "not enoughness". This is the major cause of conflict. Just understanding that the fear of not being good enough, having enough, doing enough is going to cause all of these emotions to swell up inside you. Dr. Becky Bailey will tell you that one way to get out of "not enoughness" is to shift your attitude to focus on the answers. LOOK at what needs to be done and create an attitude of gratitude. That is being thankful and appreciative for what you have already. Find the "goodness" in people and not look for all their faults, as if there is a reward for doing so. With some folks that is like picking low hanging fruit. Life is not about getting what you want, it is about wanting what you have. If that isn't to your liking, then get proactive with change. Develop an intentional attitude of finding what is working for you. Remember-you find what you look for in life and you become what you repeatedly do. People will never be able to get into conflict with you without your permission. With a definite and deliberate shift in your thinking, this can be a changing day in your life. Want it so much that nothing will stand in your way till you get it. I wish you all Godspeed in the very serenity you choose to make part of your daily life.